Arrrgh

So there I was sitting at a table waiting for him to arrive…something was definitely wrong somewhere…it was ten minutes past eight and he still hadn’t arrived. We’d planed to meet by eight since he couldn’t pick me up due to some activity or the other at work…wasn’t actually listening to his drones about work or his boss…was sort of getting sick of dem any way..i mean your boss is mean..grow the fuck up and get over it…maybe that should have been my first sign that this was all going to hell.. (not his drones but the fact that I felt like they were drones and I couldn’t stand them). He arrived two minutes later full of apologies which I took with grace cos…yeah I am grace full…he called for the waiter and we both gave our order and then after the waiter had gone he turned to me and opened his mouth to speak and suddenly I felt like I was going to grow brain dead from lack of intellectually stimulating conversations. How in the world had I survived three weeks of this. This had to be the fault of my annoying friends who refused to get of my neck about me being so picky when it came to guys. I didn’t agree with them, I mean was it wrong to want a guy that I could have actual conversations with, i was beginning to think that guys these days couldn’t have conversations with out asking “so what’s up witch u naw” about five times. Asking the first time is not a problem, it’s asking it after I just told what was really up and then asking again even when I had gone the extra mile to tell more details on what was up and then five more times during the course of the conversation. I was tried of giving my numbers to guys that looked promising only to find out after they’ve called a few times that common sense was not their forte and they were not really promising at all.
Met this dude once who seemed okay and we hung out for a while and then he told me one day that he’d been seeing this other girl and he didn’t mean for it to happen because he certainly didn’t go after her but now she was there sort of and he needed some more signs of commitment from me so he could know this was real and then he’d drop her…at first I thought this nigga was feeding me the biggest bowl of eba that existed just so I’d give up *something* until I saw the other chick and I realized for sure that there was something deeply wrong with the punk if he thought that would make me burst out my titties and crank open my legs just so i could keep him. I dropped the idiot of course but that just served to reduce my faith in the male species. Back to the situation at hand…I had to figure out a way to escape this boring ass nigga…or my ears would continue to resent me for putting them through this for the rest of my life.

 

Story
It finally dawned on me….after Years of wondering I finally realized d reason I always seemed to get bored easily with relationships…I tried to analyze my self countless times so I could figure out why I always ended it before it became serious n it’s definitely not the same cliché reasons dat are always associated with situations like this such as intimacy issues or daddy issues cos I have no problem related to either. A friend of mine recently found out dat I loved Nicholas sparks n all his amazing love stories n he couldn’t believe his ears cos according to him since he’d known me I’ve always been a cold bitch to guys dat liked me and wanted relationships from me especially when i wasnt even remotely interested…he simply thought I didn’t have a romantic bone in my body which is not true but it’s just something he thought from all d times I had gisted him of a guy who’s heart I had just broken…he actually said if he was one of those guys he’d give me cement to drink…of course it was a joke but I couldn’t help thinking there were some undercurrents of truth in it…but dat wasn’t Wat brought me to my realization.
Kc and I had been hanging out a lot in d last two weeks n it had been great…he was so fun, he made me laugh a lot and time just seemed to fly when I was with him. It was everything I had fantasized about for years seeing as I’d had this insane crush on him for…well years he didn’t know that…thank God…
I was initially apprehensive bout our first date…u build something up so much in ur mind ur bound to get disappointed when u finally experience it…but it wasn’t Lyk that at all. The first day was just dr since it was the first time n we Wr jst getting to know each oda n I was a lil bit shy but afterwards it became Wat it was meant to be….amazing. So i came to my realization on d last day of my holiday i had to finish packing my things so we didn’t make plans to see each other…I was I bit disappointed that he didn’t even try to see me one last time, but I let it go…then suddenly my phone rang n I saw kc was calling. I felt dat little zing dat always went through my heart every time he called or I saw him

 

Nightmarish Fantasy

He came today, she smiled with joy when he opened the door and walked towards her with that smile of his that always seemed to do wonders to her insides. He picked her of the bed so easily you would think she was as light as a feather and then he twirled her around in a tight hug that spoke volumes. Without words she knew that he had missed her just as much as she him. When he finally let her feet touch the floor, she held on to him to steady her self then he sent her world spinning again with his kiss…she had dreamt of the touch of his lips on hers so many times, the feel of his tongue gradually sliding into her mouth…she sighed into his mouth as she gradually let the kiss deepen and she held on to him tightly.
The kiss turned from gentle to rough in a second and his gentle caressing hands across her body became forceful. He threw her across the bed violently and climbed on top of her while ripping her clothes of. She whimpered In fear and realizing something had gone terribly wrong started to fight him off, but he was too strong…he was her dream guy after all or so she had thought. He had the perfect body, the sort only her dream guy would have, the perfect face and he was always the perfect gentleman, except…he wouldn’t do this to her would he? She called his name which made him pause his assault for a second and she whispered “you’r hurting me” but he only stared at her with a cold emotionless expression that was scarier than anything she had ever seen. His eyes were devoid of warmth and seemed bottomless. He whispered into her ear “I’m about to become your worst nightmare” then he continued his raging onslaught. All she could do was scream out ear piercing cries for help in hopes that someone, would hear and come to her rescue. He didn’t even attempt to stifle her scream. He just kept going like he was looking for more ways to make her screams louder.
Then she realised, no one could hear her because there was nobody. He was her dream guy which meant she had made him perfect…too perfect infact which meant he couldn’t be real. He existed only in her fantasies….
This somehow was not real. She woke up in a cold sweat to find the room empty, and then the memory of the nightmare hit her and it felt all too real again, she curled up in a tight ball and rocked in comforting motions in other to stave off the pain of a corrupted fantasy.

 

Bad shoe

Funke shifted the constantly slipping hand of her bag onto her shoulder then she picked up the shopping bag she had dropped on the floor and continued walking and then ..crack…she heard that dreaded sound just before she stumbled. Thankfully she was able to control it and didn’t fall flat on her face or her ass…she wasn’t quite sure which was worse.
She quickly scanned the mall and saw a free chair which was a miracle seeing as the place was a bit crowded. She made her way gingerly towards the chair and then sat down with a sigh of relief. All the while thinking “crap today of all days (Lyk any oda day is a good day for a broken heel) stupid bloody shoes”. She stared at the broken heel with a growing annoyance as she contemplated how she was going to get across a crowded mall with one good shoe and two shopping bags. To make matters worse she could easily bump into some one she knew. The thought was so scary That she gave a quick prayer to God that she wouldn’t and then summoning all her strength she removed the broken heel completely from the bad shoe and then attempted to remove the good heel from the good shoe. After a few failed attempts, she gave up and set the shoe back on the ground. The idea was apparently easier thought than done. She wore the shoes back and was about to stand up and dash quickly to her car when she heard a familiar voice call her name. Her brain instantly registered who the voice belonged to but her mind refused to accept it because ……life was cruel but it wasn’t that cruel ….or was it? Because the evidence was now moving towards her.
What were the odds, she hadn’t seen him in Lyk three years and now of all the places and situations. She had imagined this happening before but in her imagination she was always wearing good shoes.
Funke sighed resigned and braced her self then she changed her expression from the initial-crap Wtf…quick ground swallow me now- to her …hey long time no see ..poker face that made her seem surprised but happy to see the person when deep down she wanted to run super human style ( you know..the one were you move so fast nobody even realizes you were just there).
She wasn’t really sure what happened next. It was so fast d memory was like a blur in her head. All she could remember clearly was they were meeting for drinks later to catch up and she didn’t know for the life of her why or how she had agreed to that. She was always so helpless when it came to Tunde…even after 3 yrs..,it appeared nothing had changed.
She started her car, drove out of the parking lot and then towards home. She tried to concentrate on driving and forget the whole encounter but that was really hard to do when she knew she was going to see him again plus there was nothing else to do when she entered slow moving traffic but stare at the car in front of her and remember…….to be continued

 

moment of insanity

it was one of those moments where i felt in every fiber of my being that what i was about to do was a really stupid thing but i couldn’t help myself. i typed the message anyway and clicked send and then it was too late to not do the stupid thing anymore, it was done and all i could do was wait for the response to my moment of complete and utter weakness.
i slept of that night thinking about Tayo and the mail i had just sent him. we hadn’t spoken in like two and half years and it wasn’t like we did the whole tearful hugs and kisses with i’ll miss yous and promises to call and write each other in between. i didn’t even know he was leaving. i just resumed school the next semester and there it was, a school without Tayo in it. i guess it was partly my fault that he didn’t tell me. when i think of what happened with us i literally cringe at the memories. i remember being really immature and demanding and then i’d start wishing i could go back in time and redo some of the things i did and maybe unsay some stuff too. admittedly he was an ass that wasn’t ready to be serious and ended up breaking my heart in the process.
But after all that time he could still make my heart go into overdrive just at the thought of his reply to my mail. He was after all my first love…i guess. i mean was it normal that i still had feelings for him even after he had hurt me that much. the thought of the funk i went into those first weeks after he told me it was over was enough to make me hate him-which i did for a while but that didn’t last long. and now i stupidly sent him a message that said hi in a really nonchalant manner-at least i made sure that was the way the message would sound.

I never used to make rational decisions when it came to Tayo and apparently after two years that still hadn’t changed.

 

Awkward

There I was sitting in front of Tayo…wondering “what in the world do i say now”… we were in the middle of our meal and a very interesting conversation, when he suddenly started looking at me in a way i can only assume he thought was intense… when i asked “what… why are you staring at me ?” he smiled in a way i can only also assume he thought was charming….then he said ” Maya (long pause for dramatic effect) i think i’m in love with you and I’d really like for this right here to become a relationship”…the moment he spoke those words i suddenly realized how stuffy the restaurant was (even though we were sitting on the terrace and  a cool evening breeze was blowing) i needed to get out of there cos all i could think was i was suffocating. it was a surprising feeling for me cos i liked Tayo or i guess i just thought i liked him until now when it really came down to being with him officially….mean while Tayo was waiting for a reply and I’m not sure but i might have being sitting there with my mouth hanging open and my face, a picture of shock while my mind flipped through a thousand thoughts of ways to escape.i actually seriously considered simply jumping up from my chair and running a fast as my legs could carry me or at least as fast as my purple shoes would carry me… it really did seem logical to me then. Tayo was beginning to stare at me strangely…he was probably wondering what in the world he had said to put that petrified look on my face…. so i figured it was time to say something. so i closed my mouth, took a deep breath and…..nothing. i couldn’t think of a thing to say. at this point,Tayo decided to do something about my weird behavior so he took my hand and asked me gently if everything was alright. i forced a smile and said i was okay but i had just developed a raging headache and i had to go to my room…i know it was a silly lie but it was all my mind could come up with in that moment. Tayo being  the nice person that he is did not call me out on my obvious lie but instead took me to my hostel and promised to call the next day. i lay in bed that night wondering why i couldn’t be normal.

 

Class dreaming

I was sitting in a class so boring my ears were begging for mercy. My eyes were fighting a raging battle with sleep which as you can guess, sleep was the winning party. I decided to think about more interesting issues that were sure to keep me awake… I was meeting Tayo at six pm and I was kind of looking forward to it… This was kind of strange since we’d been seeing each other for a month and this was usually my limit with other guys… I lost interest in guys very fast, but this seemed to be different… I was brought back to earth when i realised that the droning voice of the lecturer had stoped. The sadist, not satisfied with the punishment he had just meted out for the past two hours decided to give us an impossible assignment due in 3 days…thank God for the invention of goggle. When the lecturer left the class, the whole class let out a sigh of relief audible enough to be heard ten classes away.

 

Hello world!

hi i’m maya…. i started this blog cos i luv writing n i realized that bizarre things happen to me…so i decided to write about it…i’m kind of hoping this does not turn out to be a regular boring blog…